Daydreams and Dehydration

he cringes in silence and relaxation, dwelling on the sting of a sinking razor. he sets his eyes to relax. he feels the numb of dreamt up pain web through his lungs. one of his favorite thoughts. he sees the grass is finally green enough to plow through guard rails and splatter the blades with the colors of christmas. his other.
these are his escapes. he dreams of them daily. of ending. of feeling nothing. the torment of days and the weather have burned him weary. too many empty nights. too much lost. his daydreams and dehydrated guts no longer push enough fuel. the seals are slowly turning to tatters. the arms and cranks that once pumped heart and soul churn vinegar in a lazy blur of static and decay. if you could only see what his eyes hide in silence. if you could tap into this current. rejuvenate what feels old and brittle. worn and neglected. without a second or centimeter's thought his mind would wrap waves through the lands. pouring a vibrant red from a decade of pain and a lifetime of impoverishment. these recent months have found his nights aching with a sink so deep in his stomach. a hole. like the bottom got right on top of him. night after night washed away. meaningless achievements for a future he doesn't want to have. all he feels is rain. and he breathes so deep. he hopes it'll all rush out of him and someone will rescue him. but his signs, so cryptic, so chambered, never to be read nor written, nor loved, nor hated. he tortures himself with memory and hope and violent fantasies. enough bloodshed to quell his heart. to keep it pumping. to rise. to fall. a single breath at a time.

Soldiers of the Sun

winter keeps me arms length from destroying the world. The sun feeds me its missions and I march them out fully equipped and completely remorseless. i dredge forward with purpose and grace. attract eyes and insight envy. i break. tear. and smile. the sun whispers "you are who you dream of being." "they're all yours." i raise my head slowly like an awakening machine. i swallow my own stomach and digest the pain. for i have purpose. i step with ease. my body runs on the fuel of my energy. my eyes dart up and down and my intentions mutter between love, hope, and pure power. i could tear this building down in one breath. wrap all the colors around my fingers and rip the air out of all your lungs. reaching and gasping for survival. the grandeaur feeding my veins. adding dreams to my heart.

heartache burns like acid, even when it hibernates. i wish this hole would leave my chest.

"i think i'll shatter if you come any closer" and i exploded as her lips hit mine. how soft. how painful. i ache as billions of memories...dreams... faces burst through my mind. you lift me into my pain my self loathing. you feed my painfully satisfying addiction. touching her i feel completely hopeless, lost, failed. touching her i feel pure, honest, love. her hands are needles and her lips are angel wings. she slides her fingers through my veins and cools my shivers with her voice. with the summer skies she trapped in her eyes. my withdrawals have cracked my lips and left me shaken. she could blow me over if her needles weren't 10 inches deep and jabbing my heart. i'm gonna faint. i fall. i knew i would. she's there to hold me up. by her claws. i've lost. it's love